Why was there an Evangelical Faith Forum between the American Candidates?
Let me take a few paragraphs to tackle this question.
John McCain, who recently celebrated his 950th birthday, appeared at an Evangelical forum along with American media darling, Barack Obama. Hosting this most important (not important at all) event was Evangelical pastor, Rick Warren, whose girth continues the tradition of obese but-thankfully-charismatic preachers (did they skip the one about gluttony? Perhaps the communion bread could be switched to whole wheat?). Anyway, both candidates were asked a series of (uncomfortable) personal questions under the guise of discerning their moral responsibility. My favourite question was as follows, “What was the biggest moral failure in your life?” Are we to believe for one minute that these men are going to answer this question with complete honesty? “Well, I’d have to say, that time I nailed that cocktail waitress was pretty low. But now, the only thing I nail is Jesus…oh wait, that was the Romans!” And yet, I don’t think we heard such frank admissions from either candidate (if only the John Edwards’ Campaign had succeeded). But this sort of tasteless conversation is closer to the truth, wouldn’t you say?
But alas! pure, unadulterated honesty and cautious “political speak” are as compatible as John McCain and the Viet Cong. Rather, these clever men rattled off something clinical and safe – speech more disinfected than a toilet bowl. I believe McCain rattled off something about the failure of his first marriage (subtext: she grew tired of his “Back in Nam” stories) and Barack did what he does best – he dithered. Or maybe he said something about his ghetto drug use, the only proof that he used to be black. It’s a hard-knock life growing up on the tough streets of…Hawaii? Yes, those white-sand beaches and aqua horizons – talk about Hell’s Kitchen! I digress. Warren went on to ask the candidates who they relied on for wisdom and advice. John McCain could have possibly sat this one out; given wisdom comes with age – he’s fully stocked. Obama’s answer was rather touching (if you could hear it over my gagging). He suggested that his wife was likely the best person to go to for advice. I know a certain boy who likes big butts and he cannot lie!!! All in all, this forum (ridiculous vetting) was obviously a right-wing boost for John McCain. McCain was more at ease because he was among his base – the Evangelicals. I think he even made a positive reference towards “home-schooling”, where Evangelicals make their kids even weirder (we‘ve all been forced to play with one). McCain was quick, concrete in his ideas and pulled-out all the stops – he will get Osama, even if he has to go to the gates of hell and back (might be going there soon anyway).
On a more serious note, the idea behind this forum, as described by Rick Warren, was the desire to observe the candidates’ religious and philosophical subscriptions. Warren claimed that, through this forum, the American public would be able to grasp the true character of the candidate. I highly doubt one’s character could be revealed in an hour of question and answer. But what do I know? How about this: the only conceivable reason for this mind-boggling production was likely to showcase McCain as an equally popular and likeable candidate. I’ll admit, he came off dazzling, though his skin looked like parchment (could it contain the secret timeline of the Apocalypse?).
On the other hand (race), Obama looked like a frightened turtle when Warren pointedly asked him about abortion. At one point, he attempted to come out of his shell with his true feelings on the issue; but the laser-beams shooting out of the audience members’ eyes hypnotized him into silence. Warren was prone to interrupt the young senator at times, cutting off Obama’s trademark long-windedness – though he probably had the intermission jelly donut on his mind. Who can blame him? Fighting a holy war makes one hungry (thank-God for Denny’s Salvation Slammer).
After watching this dirigible piece of theatre, I had some questions of my own: Was this a necessary forum? What are the possible uses and/or consequences of such an expose of moral fortitude? What does this have to do with politics? Turns out it has nothing to do with the real meat of politics (healthcare, the housing crisis, the war, you know – real problems). These debates have everything to do with elections, campaigns and general PR.
And that’s my answer!
Anne
